If Time Stood Still

If time stood still just for me I could get all of the "stuff" done that needs doing. But then again, if time stood still just for me, I'd probably find some reason for not getting the "stuff" done. I'd also have to have energy to finish all that needs doing! Let's see, organizing the play room (again) and going through mail and paper work and put all in their proper places. But then again, I would have to make a proper place for all of this. I know! Throw everything out and start it all over again next week. Yes, there is always next week! It works for me. Well no, it has not or I would not be writing this.

It's Almost That TIme Of Year!

I have always felt a bit strange about my birthdays. When I was a youngster, I never really wanted a party. I guess it comes from being shy and having everyone sing that dreaded song that always made me want to cry. I was never one for a lot of attention. In school, I would sit in the back of the class in hopes that the teacher would not call on me. I soon realized though, that sitting in back of the class meant that when the teacher did call on me, EVERYONE looked back at me which made my face and ears turn bright red. Now, if that is not bad enough, my voice is very soft and the teacher would tell me to answer again because she could not hear me! To add to my horror, the kids would turn around again! I did not care if I got invited to a party or not. When I did go to parties that were huge, I would leave early and walk home with my little present left behind. I know, I was a strange child! Now comes the big number 50! The big five-o! Get out the "over the hill" balloons and the huge candles that are larger than the cake! For someone that never cared for birthdays in the past, this one is extremely hard for me. I am not old enough to get the discounts at the fast food chains or to order off the senior menu. Why is this birthday bothering me so much? I guess it is bothering me because I have to admit to myself that I can't do the things the way I did when I was younger. If I am down on the ground, it takes me a lot longer to get up off the floor than it did ten years ago. I am trying to find humor in my aging but somehow can't find it right at the moment. I may add on to this post after my birthday party. Yes, I am having a 50th birthday party! My mother (bless her heart) is throwing me one. I will go to my own party and smile at my friends and family, and realize that we are all growing older. I will seize the day and enjoy it, not for what it represents; but because the ones I care about, care about me. Happy birthday to me!

This Year A Nut shell...Organize?

I am taking some much needed time to just sit and think about this past year and what it entailed for me is not an easy task. Did I accomplish anything at all? I'm looking about my desk and I do see that there are a few resolutions that I did not do. One is, cleaning and keeping my desk organized. Is this what they mean by controlled chaos? I pretty much know where everything is and apart from being an eye-sore, it's not really hurting anyone, or is it? I am trying to teach my grandson to clean up behind himself and to be a good helper. What is this desk showing him? That grammy tries but she's not perfect? That she'll get to it another day? I don't think he really wonders about it at all because he is two. When he gets up on grammy's computer he wants to press all the buttons on the keyboard and play with the mouse. He wants me to turn on youtube so he can watch his favorite videos, like hippo and dog farting. I do think I will get up from here and organize my areas of the house which I tend to leave books and papers that I am reading or working on. Yes, today is the day!

November!

Where did this year go? It seems like not too long ago it was just the beginning of summer and I was longing for the cooler days of winter. Notice I did not say colder, since I live in San Diego it rarely gets cold. It has gotten down to 36 degrees in the winter and by golly that is a cold one for me. I do wish we had the four seasons here though. I would love to see all the lovely colors on the trees as they begin to lose their leaves. Our leaves mostly just turn brown and fall to the ground. I remember when I was a child living in Virginia and seeing all the different colors that the leaves turned and feeling the air get cold and crisp where even my ears were cold was pretty cool for a 9 year old. We moved back to California when I was ten and I have pretty much been here every since. I would love to take my grandson Eli up to Julian this year so he can experience snow for the first time.

My Soul's Ocean

By Robert W. Hamilton

In awestruck madness I am captivated with majesty as the distant sun sets on the mirroring ocean with gentle kindness. All the while, my heart surrenders dreamingly as it causes me deeply inherent emotion and I ponder days gone by and loves rescinded reminder of tragedy and the imprisonments of yesterday. They awaken me from vast solitude to lucid contemplation. The hues of orange and red horizon tapestry sink into the darkening and placid ocean. The shimmering yet subtle breeze against the whitish waves, cause's me unfathomable and reminiscing sensations within. As it covers an endless bounty of lives lost and memories sunken, amid a thousand unharmed and ageless graves I am still left to my whispering thoughts and hollow ballads that my own ghosts possess. As the watery blanket falls in teams, it pitches calming echo’s on the stony and infinite shore until the beams of light huddle across the distant sphere and loom so silently, yet abruptly. The smell of salt water and the tinge of smoky mix remind me of passing ships and endless days spent at sea. Its glows beckons inside me the hope of days anew, of a baby’s soft pausing cry, and the feeling of the first drop of rain upon my warm and inviting skin. The golden glow of the settling sun invigorates me to new levels and brings my very existence to new and colorfully tempest horizons.

Stuffed Chicken Legs

A few months ago my husband John and I decided to try to make one of Gordon Ramsay's recipes. This recipe was stuffed chicken legs. It looked so delicious that we just had to see if we could do it. We got all the ingredients minus the nuts and hubby went to work at deboning the leg. Needless to say, this was time consuming but John kept at it and did not give up even with me there with a camera taking picture after picture and telling him to "hold it" a zillion times. Of course Mr. Ramsay makes it look so easy and I had to keep reminding hubby that he has not had twenty years experience doing this, but he was doing rather well any way.
Once the meat was off the bone the stuffing was not hard to do. The bacon we bought should have been much thinner because it was harder to work with the thicker slices. He then wrapped tightly with foil and poached three at a time for 25 minutes. We let them rest and then put them in the fridge for 30 minutes before taking them out to pat dry and sautéed the bacon wrapped chicken so the back would be nice and crisp.
Now eating this was a test on its own. We noticed little things that we would have done differently if we choose to do this recipe again. First of all, thinner bacon. The bacon was way too thick and was hard to work with and took awhile to crisp and it was pretty greasy. The second thing is to not eat a whole one! We should have just had slices of it between us. I was so full and I did not even eat a whole one. We have some in the freezer that we will take out when we have company and just slice it. I think about three slices per person is a good portion. It was fun but when I asked John if he would do it again, his face answered for him. I will take his look as a polite "no."

Feels Like Spring In August

Here it is August 14th, and we have been sleeping with a light blanket on at night. I am not complaining by far so don't get me wrong. I love it! Bring it on! The weather has just been so strange all over the place. I know someone in Seattle that just in July it was hitting 100 degrees and hardly anyone there has air conditioners so needless to say, they were sweltering! It has gotten warm here in Southern California but not by our usual standards of heat. My husband is from Canada and he hates the summers here and he is usually one unhappy hubby around this time of year. He loves sleeping with a blanket, especially in August! I usually do not bake anything in the oven during the summer but last week I baked a bunch of chocolate cupcakes and they were so delicious. I am loving our summer so far!

July Musings

I have not blogged in some time so I thought I would check in. I have had a busy few months because I am in the process of becoming licensed for a small in home day-care. I already care for my grandson so I figured it would be good to have a playmate or two for him and get paid doing something I enjoy anyway. I have pretty much decorated the extra room as a "tot" play/nap room and I am proud to say I am quite pleased with it. Years ago I did childcare in my home so I could home school two of my children for the year. I enjoyed it but it can be exhausting. I am much older now so we will see what kind of web I wove for myself here. The perfect ages would be an infant and perhaps a three year old. I have more toys for boys than for girls but that is because most of the toys seem to cater to my grandson so far. Needless to say, he has a blast at grammy's house and grammy has a great time playing with him as well. Every thing is pretty much ready except for the final inspection. I had to take CPR and Pediatric CPR classes and the finger printing for me and my husband have cleared. I will surely be blogging about this new adventure down the road.

Empty Nest?

Last month my 24 year old daughter moved out into her own place with her one year old son. It was so cramped here with all of us under one roof. I loved having my grandson here especially when he wakes up. I am happy that they have their own place. I am happy that my husband and I have the place to ourselves except on Monday nights when they spend the night because we watch the show Lost, and then she gets up early in the morning for school. I watch the baby so it just makes it easier. I would be sad if they lived far away and I could never see them. I have two sons that live far from me and I do miss them. I am just thankful that everything worked out for all of us.

Our New President

I was divided on the issues on our candidates for the President of our great country. I liked Obama’s take on taxes and I liked Plain’s “let’s kick out the old ways” sort of thinking. I am a Democrat but I tend to vote for issues more than the party. I have always been that way.

I am seeing a lot of posts today on being sad that Obama won. I think that either one would have done a better job than Bush. I did feel sorry for who ever won because they have a serious mess to try to clean up that Bush is leaving them, whether it be McCain or Obama.

I know that this election was very historical to say the least. I saw Americans with tears in their eyes because a black man was chosen to lead our screwed up but beloved country. These tears were tears of joy that I witnessed. I taught my children black history at home because the schools only taught about Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks. They did not teach about not even being allowed to learn to read and when they were allowed, many prevented them (or tried) from doing so. I hope it is different now in that school district!

The African-American people always came out in droves to vote every since they fought for the freedom to vote and many whites and blacks died for that right. People are saying that this is the first time that many black people came out to vote. The African-Americans were 96 % of the vote for Obama. It’s not saying they never vote, it’s saying many of them came in agreement of who they wanted to lead the country.

Let’s come together and become proud Americans once again, whether we are white, black, orange or green- our flag is still red white and blue.

GL Gill

Our First Anniversary

Me and my husband John just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. He took the day off making the weekend longer. We did not do much, just enjoyed our time together. We went to The Cheesecake Factory and had a nice dinner. We were so full we did not even order a slice of cheesecake!

I bought him a couple of polo type shirts that he always wears and he needed more. He got me a very nice Canadian mint wedding set that you see here. He always gets things I would never think of. He is very thoughtful that way. He is Canadian and very proud of it. I don't blame him, it is a beautiful country. Everything is so green! We are going to Nova Scotia to spend Christmas with my in-laws.

I am from California and I do not see much snow. This will actually be the first time in 19 years that I will even be close enough to snow to touch it. I had to buy some boots which I got a good deal on and I hope my coat will be warm enough. I think it will if I get a heavy sweater to wear under it. My mother loaned me some light sweaters to take to wear around the house. Speaking of the house-it has been in the family for over 100 years and it is beautiful! I will try to add some pictures of it here when we get back.

Tonight I Made Pizza

I woke up from my nap really craving pizza! I wanted to reach for the phone and get a nice thick pizza with Canadian bacon, two cheeses and mushrooms. Most of the places I order from put too much sauce on theirs in my opinion. I was trying to decide which place to order from and remembered that I am trying to cut down on spending. I wanted pizza but I had all the stuff here to make our own. I bet it would cost a lot less also. Let’s see, I have the sauce I got for fifty cents with a coupon, Jiffy pizza dough mix that I got for twenty-five cents per box, mushrooms that I got really cheap and dehydrated those for future use. The cheese was probably the most expensive items and I know I got them pretty cheap also. I’d say the whole pizza that fed three adults and one baby cost me less than five bucks to make. I did not use all the sauce so in the fridge it goes for some goulash sometime this week. My husband does not like cheese so I made a section without the cheese just for him. Did I make a good choice in not ordering out? Absolutely! Did we love the pizza? You better believe it!

I Have Worms!

Yes, it's true. I have worms. Lots of red, wiggly worms. I have a reason for these worms that I keep in a nice bin my husband made for me out on the balcony. These worms eat our kitchen scraps so that the scraps do not go into the landfills which creates gasses. When I first began to talk about getting the worms I think my family secretly hoped that this was one of the bright ideas that would fall by the way-side. I was on a mission! I wanted to prove that I could compost living in an apartment and I wanted to be more Eco friendly. The worms were ordered and sent via two day post but were delivered to the managers office here where we live instead of to my door. I got a frantic call from my husband to please go pick up the worms because they were smelling up the whole office. They were afraid something had died! I got them home and discovered that they were beginning to dry out so I quickly wet the burlap bag they were in and left them there in the box like that for about an hour. Yes, it did smell! I then put them in the bin I had all ready for them with some damp newspaper shredding. I moved them to the laundry room and kept the lid off and the light on. I told my family that if they turned off the light then they were responsible for chasing worms all over the laundry room. I kept them there for a few days until they settled into their new home. I already had some scraps that I had ready for them so I buried the scraps under the dry newspaper shredding. It took a good week for the worms to show any interest in eating but I was not worried. I had done my home work on this composting thing. I keep food scraps in a MaxAir kitchen composting bin with the biobags and there is no smell, plus I never put in meat, oils or dairy also. I have had the worms now for four months and no smell at all. When the biobag is full I put it in the freezer to keep out fungus gnats and then put it in the worm bin in another section for them to migrate to and eventually eat. The compost the worms make is great for my plants because it is full of nutrients that the plants thrive on. It does take awhile to get a good amount of compost but it is worth it. I know people may turn up their noses but composting has been going on since mankind ate his first apple and tossed it.

My Grandbaby Is Helping To Save The Earth

Yes, my ten month old grand baby E, has been helping save the earth every since he was two months old. How you ask? Me and his mommy (my daughter) decided that we wanted to leave the earth a better place. I started doing some research on ways we could start doing it and also saving money. I tend to be a bit frugal and that is not a bad thing at all in my opinion. I decided to look into cloth diapers. When my oldest son was born, I was given a one month diaper delivery of cloth diapers. It was great! I put the soiled diapers (pooh and all) in the bucket they provided and they picked up once a week and left fresh, spotless diapers at my door. I loved the service but I could not afford it since I was a single mom living on a very tight budget. I thought of doing this for my daughter but when I found out the price I immediately decided against that and went on researching. I found out that there are different types of cloth diapers now. There are hemp; Chinese pre-fold; Indian pre-folds and pocket diapers. Decisions! We tried the pre-folds but I was not too pleased but the price was right but I quickly went to the pocket diapers. We chose bumgenius. If you have a washer and dryer, cloth is the cheapest and best bet for you. We use the Imse Vimse inserts that you put in the diaper to toss in the toilet if it has pooh and if it does not, we wash with the diapers to reuse. Better bang for your buck there. I bought a lot of the pre-folds and when we decided on the pocket diapers I was wondering what to do with all of the other diapers. Well, I use them at that "time of the month" which saves money and feels so comfortable. I have a 5 gallon pail that hubby bought for $1.50 at the doughnut shop. I bought a gamma lid so the baby can't get it off. I soak my "pads" in cold water and Ivory dish soap until I have enough to wash. I bought our diapers from http://www.diapers.com/. It is free shipping there if you buy fifty dollars worth of product. I purchased the Vimse from http://www.amazon.com/. The shipping was a tad high here but I do wash them and reuse so I still feel I am getting a bang for my buck there. So, little E is learning little by little how to help save the earth even though he may not realize it yet.

I Have Lupus, Lupus Does Not Have Me

Some days are better than others. I feel I do have it better than others with this awful disease. I am not on meds. I take pain pills when I really do need it. I get plenty of sleep and take a good amount of vitamins. I try to be as stress free as possible. Some times it is easier said than done though. This is not to say that I will always be med free but it is the way for me now. My mother has Lupus also. She has a box full of meds that she takes, some are for Lupus and some are for Fibro and other things. I pray that never happens to me but the way I feel sometimes I feel less sure of never having to be on Lupus meds. Am I fighting a losing battle? Probably. Am I going to give up? Never! I have Lupus but it does not have me.

Never Enough Time In The Day

I have come to the conclusion that I will never have enough time to do what I want to do. I have a 'to do' list but that is on top of making bread, doing laundry, picking up toys, feeding little ten month old E. and changing diapers and playing with E. I do feel accomplished when I finish everything on my list though. I try not to be as hard on myself as I was a few months ago. I could not sit and relax in the evenings to watch a movie or show if there were things that needed to get finished. Is my room messy? Yes, but the bed is made. Is the bathroom clean? Pretty much but the trash needs to go out. You see, there is always something that needs to be done but never enough time or energy to complete every single thing. At least for now and I accept that.

A New Life Works For Me

Some may say that wearing white at your second wedding is a "no no", but I had my reasons for this. My first wedding was when I was 21 and done by the Justice of the Peace in Texas with two of my small children in tow. We drove around for hours asking each other if this is really what we wanted to do. That should have been a sure sign that we should not have done so. I was thinking about my boys. I was an un-wed mother at 17 with my first son and my second son was almost a year old when his father and I were driving around asking if we should just go ahead and get married. We did. Twenty-one years of marriage. It was a very bad marriage and I am not one to give up easily. I tried hard to make it work but he ended up a crack addict and HIV positive. I finally left him with my 18 year old daughter in tow. I ran away and I never looked back. I'm glad I did because I met my husband. We will be married a year this month and I never for once had to ask myself if I was doing the right thing. I wore white because I felt brand new. I felt like it was my first time getting married. I was married to the wrong person for way too long. I am married to the one who loves me like no other. I am happily married.