It's Almost That TIme Of Year!

I have always felt a bit strange about my birthdays. When I was a youngster, I never really wanted a party. I guess it comes from being shy and having everyone sing that dreaded song that always made me want to cry. I was never one for a lot of attention. In school, I would sit in the back of the class in hopes that the teacher would not call on me. I soon realized though, that sitting in back of the class meant that when the teacher did call on me, EVERYONE looked back at me which made my face and ears turn bright red. Now, if that is not bad enough, my voice is very soft and the teacher would tell me to answer again because she could not hear me! To add to my horror, the kids would turn around again! I did not care if I got invited to a party or not. When I did go to parties that were huge, I would leave early and walk home with my little present left behind. I know, I was a strange child! Now comes the big number 50! The big five-o! Get out the "over the hill" balloons and the huge candles that are larger than the cake! For someone that never cared for birthdays in the past, this one is extremely hard for me. I am not old enough to get the discounts at the fast food chains or to order off the senior menu. Why is this birthday bothering me so much? I guess it is bothering me because I have to admit to myself that I can't do the things the way I did when I was younger. If I am down on the ground, it takes me a lot longer to get up off the floor than it did ten years ago. I am trying to find humor in my aging but somehow can't find it right at the moment. I may add on to this post after my birthday party. Yes, I am having a 50th birthday party! My mother (bless her heart) is throwing me one. I will go to my own party and smile at my friends and family, and realize that we are all growing older. I will seize the day and enjoy it, not for what it represents; but because the ones I care about, care about me. Happy birthday to me!